This HSP is well rested

Just read a book by Dr. Elaine Aron on the Highly Sensitive Person. I sighted the book at MPH not too long ago. It attracted me at first sight, or rather, first glance. It wasn't difficult for me to know that the description fitted me like a glove.

Are you one also? check it out in the website > http://www.hsperson.com/

The main questions that Dr. Aron asked her "patients" include:

Are you easily overwhelmed by such things as bright lights, strong smells, coarse fabrics, or sirens nearby?
Do you get rattled when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?
Do you make a point of avoiding violent movies and TV shows?
Do you need to withdraw during busy days, into bed or a darkened room or some other place where you can have privacy and relief from the situation?
Do you make it a high priority to arrange your life to avoid upsetting or overwhelming situations?
Do you notice or enjoy delicate or fine scents, tastes, sounds, or works of art?
Do you have a rich and complex inner life?
When you were a child, did your parents or teachers see you as sensitive or shy?

My answer to all of these are YES, YES, YES.

Today is a good day for this HSP. No work, no leaving of the house, no one around me. Just me and my books and my thoughts. What a good rest.

Wonder if Jesus was a HSP.
Wonder why God made me a HSP. I believe He created a need in me for Him. The world is too overwhelming for me. So I run to my secret place to meet with Him.
Wonder how can my HS traits be used for His glory. Hmm... I believe He made HS traits to bring His love and sensitive sides to His people.

Sensitivity may not be viewed as a positive thing to most people. But to God, it can be a gift. I will use this gift.

Most of my blog entries are not about the actual things that happened, but about what I am thinking about. That is perhaps the reason why this blog is called "Swirling thoughts in my head", and not "Eventful activities in my life". (:

I can only imagine

*touched*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gm7XwtIJdM

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever Forever worship You
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
I can only imagine
When all I will do Is forever, forever worship you

*in awe*
*in tears*

2 Angels

Yups, it was a horrible week. D's diagnosis was devastating. But she will recover. Jesus is the healer. We all have faith.

It is not about me. I kept those painful episodes of the week in my heart, didn't want to talk about it to anyone. Because it is not about me.

But God never forgets me. He knows that I was reeling with pain inside. So He sent 2 angels - Pastor How and Pastor Lia.

A casual "how are you?" opened up the flood gates. I held the tears back, cos I still had duty to do. But they knew. It is all that mattered. My pastors love me.

Still, I told myself, "it is not about me".

Then, I got a card and a gift from my beloved pastors. Wow. They made me feel like "it is about me". Wow. I am blown away. God just wanted me to know that I am important and my pain is important to Him, amidst all the things that should rightfully get more attention.

Wow. My perspective changed. Some things are not worth fighting for. It is not about me. It is about loving God and loving people.

Time for me to raise up as a leader.

Bad Bad Bad week

Just went through what was inarguably one of the worst weeks in my life.

PMS
Bad Appraisal
Bad boss
Discouragement
Betrayal
Disappointment
Heartache for a directionless girl
Realisation of my selfish nature (again)
A friend's cancer diagnosis

Just when I thought things could not possibly get any worse, someone banged into my car.

Tsk.

But I will PRAISE Him!

God's Hands

Am upset with angry thoughts of a not-too-intelligent, self righteous boss. Feel like killing her. But in all circumstances, I choose to praise God and I choose to focus on God.

Was reminded of God's hands. Many years ago, I had vision of a hand piercing through the dark clouds, with lights beaming out of the fingers. The image comforted me. It was God's hands.

Just a few weeks ago, during a bible class in church, during the ministry time, I had thoughts about a small girl facing troubles in the world. As the girl looks up to heaven and reaches out to God, He scooped her up and carried her in His arms. She buried her face in His shoulders. Then she smiled at Him. He held her for a little while more and He put her down to stand beside Him, and held her tiny hand. Together, they looked down at the troubles. Then they turned to each other and smiled. He lead her down the stairs to return to the troubles. She walked down and stopped to look back at Him. He smiled and urged her "go on". She smiled and went back to the troubles. And she smiled at the troubles and kept looking upwards. That girl was me.

Today, angry at the injustice as I am, I and reminded of these images and God's hands.

Isaiah 40:12 states so clearly about God's big and mighty hands :-

"Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hands,

Measured heaven with a span

And calculated the dust of the earth in a measure?

Weighed the mountains in scale

And the hills in a balance?"

Got this from a website:
QUOTE
The total volume of the oceans is 1.369x10^9 km3 =0.13% of total volume of the earth. This is a cube 1.369 BILLION kilometers or 850,696,600 miles on each side. This is approximately 687 decillion gallons of water. A decillion is one with 33 zeroes after it. A trillion is one with 12 zeroes after it. We assume that God used this measure once when He measured the waters in the oceans. Can you imagine a hand big enough to hold that volume of water in the small hollow of the palm?
UNQUOTE

God's hand can span the universe and He puts the stars in it place.
What is more than the sand of this earth? The stars.

Imagine. My God is that BIG.
So God, I trust in You.

"Into Your hand I commit my spirit;

You have redeemed me, O LORD God of truth ...

My times are in Your hand;

Deliver me from the hand of my enemies;

And from those who persecute me ..."

- Psalms 31:5,15 -

Love, Liu Xue

Missing in action

hey all, Haven't blogged for a year already.... Many things happened. Too busy and too tired to blog. Work is still as intensed. Have I changed? yes, I have. But I still love God! That cannot change.

Now that not many people read my blog... maybe I can start again.

See you soon!