Heaviness

A heavy head and a heavy heart.
Head's heavy cos it agrees.
Heart's heavy cos it disagrees.
Am I schizo?
I dunno.
What I do know... it hurts.
I am now wishing that I do not exist. Just nothing. Then no pain, no joy, no nothing... now I sound like a Buddhist...haha..
And here I am in the office, acting like I am ok. There I was in church, acting like I am ok.
But all I want, is to be by myself. Just let me be. I need space. People and stuff and feelings are taking up space in my mind, and in my schedule, almost against my will. I feel so stifled.

All I want now... is to fly away alone and just be quiet.