Myriad of stuff in my head

Yeh. That's what it is. A myriad of thoughts - angry, faith-filled, gratefulness, helplessness, loneliness... good stuff, bad stuff and too many stuff... Is it because my brain's underemployed again? only the brain seemed underemployed, my schedule's packed to the max. Sometimes I could hardly breathe.
New role at my new job. Just 2 months into the new company and there I am, taking on new challenges... now I have to give training? Wow... me? hahaha... what a laugh! But no, I cannot laugh, cos it's the beginnings of leadership.
Last week, Pastor Lia reminded us about God's kairos timing for everyone in our church. That these are times of the beginnings of leadership. As much as I am nuts in my head and my emotions going all over the place, God's grace and mercy to me remains. He knows that I am in the dumps now, emotionally and spiritually. Still, He raises me up and pushes me alongside the express path of my accelerating church. In a way, my struggle is with flesh. I know. I know. I am not there, but because of His grace and mercy to me, He keeps me. I struggle to dampen the pace, He hastens me.
Father, just don't let me let you go.